The Lady Has Two Faces

     One of the best things about having friends is having things in common. Even if the thing in common is a person that you both don't care for. You both have shared confidences and have vented to each other.  What happens when one party is possibly a turncoat?

     A few months ago, my friend Liza and I received invitations to a party via Facebook. Liza couldn't go because she was heading out of town. I couldn't because I was in a wedding. As Liza scrolled down the guest list, she noticed a name that struck her wrong.

    "Meredith Invited Jeanette? She doesn't like her as much as we don't," Liza said.

    "I know. What's that about?"

    It's true. Meredith can't stand Jeanette. To be honest, Jeanette is very difficult to get along with. So imagine how surprised we were to see her name.

    "The way Meredith talks about her to me, it makes me wonder what she says about me when I'm not around," Liza replied.

    That got me thinking. How did Liza know she wasn't getting bashed behind her back? If you can't stand someone, why are they invited to your party? If they're so awful, why even associate with them? Seems a bit disingenuous, doesn't it? Don't misunderstand me; there is a difference between civility and being fake.

    Another example that comes to mind is, one time a bunch of my friends and I were hanging out at one of our local haunts and were inviting others to come. My friend, Miguel, was going to invite our friend, Willa, when he was stopped in his tracks.

     "If you're going to call her, I'm leaving," a friend, whom I'll call Bianca, protested.

     "What's the problem?" I asked

     Bianca launched into a story of how Willa allegedly had hooked up with a guy that she knew Bianca liked. This put us in an odd spot.

     "Fine. Go ahead and call her. I don't care," Bianca pouted.

     When Willa showed up, Bianca greeted her as though they were the best of friends. Miguel and I looked at each other with knowing glances. Why the theatrical display if it was to be followed up with an immediate retreat? Bianca left about an hour later citing an early class. Miguel and I tried to hide our matching smirks.

    Keeping up morale is important. Sometimes you are put in a social setting that you didn't construct. If you are thrown into a gathering with people you don't care for, be civil and keep it moving. There is no need to extend any extra pleasantries. When you do you border on being artificial.