Hi's and Lows

     Saying hello can start a relationship or continue a friendship. What happens when you accidently speak to someone you don’t like?

     Last summer, I’d decided to sleep in on a Sunday after being utterly exhausted from the work week. When I awoke, I decided to take a long run I’d been putting off. I ran for three hours. I could feel my stress from the previous week melt away as the sun warmed me. The slow breeze lightly blowing against my face cooled me as I sweat. In a word, it was perfect. It was just the music from my iPod, the sidewalk and me. I felt amazing.

     Shortly after my run, I saw a woman and a man jogging with a stroller. I moved over on the sidewalk to let them through.

     “Hey! How are you?” the woman replied.

     “Good. How are you?” I said as the woman whizzed past.

     Seconds later, I realized it was Jocelyn, her husband and her child in the stroller. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be civil, but it’s annoying when you accidentally greet someone who grates your nerves. Unfortunately, I find myself in this situation all the time.

     When speaking, you should always consider the audience. Especially when that audience is someone you don’t want to engage. This keeps you from giving a greeting that you ultimately wished you kept.

One Isn't the Loneliest Number

     When most people think of being single, they think of being alone. They imagine someone aimlessly wandering until they find their missing piece. Is it possible to be single and not lonely?

     About four months ago, I stumbled across an article that stated that most single people didn’t experience being single correctly. I was instantly skeptical. I gave this article the biggest side eye I could manage.

     “How dare these words on a page pretend to know my newly acquired relationship status?” I thought.

     As I read, I felt that maybe I’d misjudged the article. The article stated that most single people don’t try to learn themselves during their time alone. The article also stated that many single people don’t enjoy life’s experiences to the fullest because they are too busy trying to get couple up, if only for a night. This struck a chord. I thought I’d been enjoying my life, but was I fully engaging in daily experiences? Was I really enjoying being single? The answer was a resounding no. I’d been bested by a periodical. Read it and weep…literally.

     Instead of being upset that an article had me pegged, I decided to do something about it. I decided to spend more time with not just my friends, but myself. To enjoy the stillness of my own soul instead of the noise of others is peaceful. I do things that improve my mind and body such as meditation. I’ve even joined a women’s group at church. I’m alone but I’m not lonely. Self-assuredness allows you to walk tall against the rain. Insecurity only leaves you soaked. Confidence attracts, which explains the string of dates I’ve been on recently. Nonetheless, life is beautiful.

Who Asked You?

     Opinions are something that each human being comes with. They unite and separate us. How we us them is what makes the difference.

     A few years ago, before Michigan passed the smoking ban, I decided to partake in a nice Cohiba while watching a golf game at a bar. I retrieved my cigar and placed it in my mouth ready to smoke.

    “Are you really going to smoke that?” I heard a voice say.

     I turned to see an attractive auburn haired man in his early 40’s sitting on the once empty stool on my left.

     “I’d planned on it,” I said

     “You know,” he started. “I don’t like women who smoke.”

     “Lucky for you, I have no plan on dating you,” I said taking my matches out of purse.

    “That cigar’s bigger than you are.”

     “A stick of dynamite is small too. Don’t be a hero,” I said as I defiantly struck my match.

     I lit my cigar and turned back towards the golf tournament on the screen. Sensing my annoyance, he stopped talking and left. To this day, I don’t know what he was doing. Either way, his opinion had no bearing on me trying to relax after work.

     You can’t control the opinions of others. People are going to express their thoughts whether they are solicited or not. How you react is up to you.

Back for the First Time

     As we begin a new year, I am reminded that what is in the past should be left there. The same goes for past relationships. No matter how they try to show back up, we shouldn't allow them in our present. What happens when the past tries to pay a random visit?


     Back in June of last year, I answered my office's front desk phone expecting the same old business calls we always get and go the shock of my life.


    "May I speak with Crystal," said the masculine voice on the other end.
  
     "This is she," I replied. "Who is this?"


     "This is Roland."


     "Roland, who?" I asked.


     I heard an amused chuckle on the other end. I'm a receptionist, so I've heard it all over the phone.


     "It's Roland Marciano."


     I felt adrenaline surge through me at top speed. Roland and I had been broken up since that past November. Why was he calling me? At work?


     "I stopped by your apartment," he continued. "You weren't there, so I left my card under your door. I have a new phone, so I don't have your number."


     I was astounded. He was speaking like no time had ever passed between us. Also, I broke up with him, so why would I give him my number?


    
     "Roland, I am at work," I stated.


     "I know. I'd really like to hear from you. Please call me after work," he said.


     "I'll think about."


     "Please do. Goodbye," he said before hanging up.


     The whole day my blood boiled. How dare he call me after all this time? I'd broken up with him because he kept making excuses about when we could see each other. I am an avid believer that you make time for what you want. I got tired of his excuses and ended it.


     As soon as I got home from work, I retrieved his business card he'd left under my door and dialed the number. I heard my heart in my ears and my body was 450 degrees Fahrenheit.


     "Hello," he answered.


     "Roland, this is Crystal," I practically blurted.


     "Sweetie, let me call you back. I've got a client on the other line."


     "Yeah, you call me back."


     Sweetie? He was going to pay for that. He had to be kidding.


     About five minutes later my phone buzzed. I couldn't pick up fast enough.


    "Hello," I said sternly.


     "Sorry, that was a client. I've been playing phone tag for months with him. I've been..."


     "Why did you call me at work today?"


     "So, you just want to get to it?"


     "Yes. You wasted enough time when we were together. Let's not waste more."


     "Well, I was in the area and thought about you."


     He lives in a suburb outside of Detroit. Why would he travel an hour north for business? Ridiculous.


     "It takes you 6 months to think about me?"


     "You wouldn't pick up my calls."


     "You're right. You were always busy. I became busy too."


    "I was thinking we could go to dinned and talk. I came by your apartment this morning."


     "We don't have anything to discuss," I said.


     "I'd like to sit down and talk."


     "There's no point."


     "Let me call you back," he said. "A client is calling."


     "Don't bother. Don't ever contact me again."


     "Ok. I got it," he replied like a sullen child.


     I hung up and never looked back.


     Just because the past makes an abrupt entrance into your present, you don't have to let it in. Show it the exit and keep going. If someone didn't have time for you then, why make time for them now?