Best Thing I Never Had

     I've heard it said that there are only two tragedies in life: One is not getting what you want and the other is getting it. What happens when not getting what you want turns out to be the best alternative?

     I'm an over thinker. I admit it. When I want something, I think about it... a lot. A few months back, I ran into an acquaintance while I was out and about. I used to have the biggest crush on him. Even when I told myself that I was done, he still found a way to take up space in my head. As we briefly chatted, it was like a spell was broken. It was as though all his words were strung together to produce some absurd limerick. He was saying things that actually defied logic. Instead of feeling butterflies, I quietly offered a prayer of thanks to God for never letting me date him. What had I seen in him? Why had it taken so long for me to notice what a debacle dating him would have been? 

     I find that when you want something and you can't have it, there is usually a good reason. The universe is trying to save you from a monumental bad time. At first, you aren't able to see it because your judgment is clouded.

     About five years ago, I applied for a job at an influential non profit in my town. I did every form of interview prep I could think of. I was ready. I really felt like I had the interview in the bag. They didn't send me my rejection letter until a month and a half later. I obsessed the entire time in between. When I got the letter, I was disappointed to say the least. That following Summer the same position was vacant and being advertised on an online job posting board, just like when I applied. I learned two things from this: 1.) This organization had high turnover in this position. 2.) I dodged a huge bullet.

Sometimes when something looks good, you can get carried away. You begin to picture the thing or person you want in your life without being realistic. Stand in your truth. Would this thing or person really be a good fit? Upon deeper investigation, the answer is usually a resounding no. The grass is greener only where you water it.