Naked Ambition

     The human body is a beautiful, dynamic thing. It can do just about anything. Sometimes its exposure is too much for bystanders.

     After working out, a hot shower feels amazing. It recharges you. One evening, after an intense cardio session, I headed back to my locker after my shower. I was wrapped in my towel getting ready to get dressed, when a lady who’d just had her own shower came walking through the locker area. She was completely naked except for the towel wrapped around her hair. Of all the areas of her that needed a towel, her hair could’ve gone without.

     I silently hoped that she would go to a different area of lockers. I didn’t hope hard enough because she stopped right at the locker next to mine. I proceeded to look forward while slipping on my underwear underneath my towel.

     “How’s it going today?” the nude woman asked.

     “Fine. Thank you,” I said still looking forward.

     She began to take the towel from her hair. The whole thing seemed odd to me. I have no problem with the female body, but I only want to see my own naked. Whether she was a supermodel or a sumo wrestler, I didn’t want to see her business. If it has been in a large steam room, that would’ve been something different entirely.

     “So what’s the weather like out there?”

     Not only was she immodest, but now she was engaging me in elevator chatter. Fantastic. She had now hiked her leg up on the carpeted bench under our row of lockers and began drying it with her towel. I wished my peripheral vision hadn’t worked that day. I now was looking away as I slipped on my jeans.

     “Not sure,” I said responding to her question. “I’ve been in the rec center.”

     She must have noticed my discomfort. The lady stopped drying her leg and put her hands on her hips.

     “What’s your problem?” she asked pointedly.

     I turned around and looked her square in the eye. I couldn’t look anywhere else.

     “I’m just trying to get dressed,” I replied.

     “I’m just being friendly and you’re being rude.”

     “No, I’m getting dressed and you’re asking me questions…naked.”

     “We’re all women. This is the women’s locker room.”

     “It is the women’s locker room,” I countered. “Not Orange Is the New Black.”

     She huffed off to another locker area. I continued getting dressed.

     Nudity has its time and place. The nude form of another needn’t be pushed on anyone. A naked body is the anatomy in its truest form. Sometimes, you aren’t in the mood for someone else’s truth.

Fourth Rate First Date

     First dates are exciting. The unknown can be alluring. It gives you the opportunity to learn about someone and see where it leads. What happens when the first date is the worst date?

    A few months ago, I ventured out on a first date with a guy that I’d met during one of my “girl’s night outs” with Liza. We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for two weeks. He seemed nice and we made plans for the Saturday of the next week.

     The day of our date started well. We went to a local pizzeria known for its slices. When we arrived, I waited in the car, assuming he was coming around to open my door. I assumed wrong. He got out and headed for the restaurant. When I realized he wasn’t going to open my door, I opened it myself. Strike one, I thought to myself. Once inside the restaurant the food and conversation were good… at first.

     “Wow. You sure can put it away,” He said.

     “What?” I asked out of surprise. Every man knows better than to mention a woman’s appetite, whether it’s intended as a compliment or not.

     “You just eat a lot to be so small. It’s cool.”

     “I eat like a person. Not a sparrow,” I quipped.

      My blood became lava. Sensing this he finished his pizza and requested the bill. Strike two.

    At that point, I was ready to go to the comedy club we were heading to. As we headed out to the parking lot, I opened my door and got in the car. He’d already proven he wasn’t going to. On the way to the comedy club, he regaled me stories of his past ex- girlfriends. It became apparent why he’d never been married and was currently single.

     Once at the comedy club, we had a great time, mostly because he wasn’t talking. The comedians were hilarious and it was a good crowd. We’d chosen an early evening show because I had to be to church early in the morning.

     As we headed back into town, he started eyeing the various clubs and bars on the street. I knew what was coming.

     “Do you want to do something else or…?”

     “No,” I said. “I told you. I have church tomorrow.”

     “Well, I want to do something else.”

     “You’re free to do that, after you take me home.”

     Strike three. I was fit to be tied.

    When we got to my house, I politely thanked him for dinner. I didn’t want to be as rude as he was.

     “I’d walk you to your door, but I know you can handle it,” he said.

     I was floored. His unbridled rudeness had now reached new heights. Strike three, part two. No possible hope in the ballpark.

    

     “You’re right. I can handle most anything,” I stated calmly.

    

     I got out of the car as he was talking and heading to my door. He called and texted me for three straight days, all of which I ignored. His rudeness didn’t deserve a response.

Unfriendly Skies

     Traveling is a great way to broaden your horizons. You see things and meet people you wouldn’t ordinarily. It’s wonderful to have these new experiences under your belt. What happens when your odyssey is hindered by others?

     Last Spring, I went to New Jersey for a weekend workshop. I had an early flight and after getting through TSA, was sitting at the waiting area of my plane’s gate. Everyone was on a mobile device or having quiet conversations. It was before 7 am and no one wanted to be loud, let alone awake. CNN played on the television in the waiting area, which normally would’ve been fine. Not this morning however. One woman was especially cantankerous. Not helping matters, was the fact that the missing plane from Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 had just disappeared. This woman took special issue with CNN’s report.

 

     “Oh my God!” she fumed. “Why WOULD they play this? Don’t they know we’re about to board a plane?!”

     Apparently, not only was she bothered by how inconsiderate CNN’s news delivery was, but she wanted us to know. It just seemed odd that she thought a news network was out to ruin her flight. I tried desperately to ignore her rant. I was sleepy and just wanted to get on my plane.

     As the plane began to board, I hope the enraged woman would be calm on the flight.  I hoped in vain. No sooner had I taken my seat did she come barging up the tiny aisle with a massive quilt jumbled in front her. She pushed past me, bumping my arm hard as I was reading. I chose to let that slide because if I hadn’t I would’ve gotten kicked off the plane. I confess, I am not a morning person.

 

    When the flight ascended, I heard grumbles from the back of the plane. About five minutes later, she must have fallen asleep because there was silence. Sweet, glorious silence. When the plane landed at O’Hare, I grabbed my carry on and hurried off. I silently prayed she wasn’t on my next flight. Thankfully, she wasn’t.

     When traveling it’s best to take your manners with you instead of leaving them at home. A plane is a vessel containing people of various backgrounds and social graces. Let the other passengers remember the flight instead of you.

No Means No

     Many times people agree to things just to keep down chaos. In truth, they don’t want to say yes. If they don’t say yes, they explain themselves so that they seem less callous. Is there merit to saying no and meaning it?

     As a girl, you’re taught to be agreeable and never rock the boat. The worst thing you can be viewed as is “mean”. This is highly unrealistic and contradictory to what boys are taught. There is nothing wrong with saying no and meaning it.

     An example that comes to mind is the company Christmas party. It’s annual and absolutely dreadful. At least 7 people asked me why I wasn’t going last year. To be honest, many of my coworkers are rude and have made my job difficult. Why would I ever spend time with them outside of work? I never go to the party anyway, so why mess with tradition? I held firm. I wished them a good time, but I was staunch about my lack of attendance. Best. Decision. Ever. On Monday, the office buzzed with the mishaps of the Christmas party.

     In the grand tradition of company parties, foolishness ensued. One coworker was not only inebriated but improperly dressed to boot. He was so drunk, that he knocked over things and had gotten the attention of two of the managers. Not to be outdone, a wife of one of the managers was flirty with a few members of male staff and not her husband.

     When saying no, go with your gut. Stick with your decision without wavering. Most importantly, you don’t have to explain yourself. You’ve made your decision and that’s good enough.

The Best Policy

 

     From the time we’re children, we’re taught that we should always be honest. As we grow older, the waters get murky. We lie to get jobs, we lie to gain popularity among our peers, and we even lie in relationships.  Is the truth really something we want?

     As a little girl, I was taught to always be honest.  Having been raised by Baptist minister grandfather, I knew since infancy that honesty was important to character. However, my honesty often got me in trouble when I was a kid.

     I am reminded of an incident that happened in kindergarten that landed me in the “unhappy corner”. At show and tell a little girl was waxing poetic about becoming a big sister after the stork visited her house. I knew this was untrue. Months earlier my grandfather had told me the truth. My grandmother was too embarrassed to tackle my curiosity as to how “people were made.” Luckily, my grandfather was not so easily shocked.

     “What, Crystal?” my teacher sighed as my hand shot in the air.

     “That’s not true!” I shouted.

     “Yes, it is,” the girl protested.

     “No, it’s not,” I countered.

    

     “Storks don’t deliver babies. Your parents had sex,” I said confidently.

     My teacher was in shock. Seconds passed in absolute silence, which is amazing in a kindergarten class.

    “Crystal Demps! To the Unhappy Corner!” my teacher shouted.

     “But I told the truth!” I shouted as my teacher forcefully escorted me to the stool in the corner.

    I sat in the corner fuming.  It felt like I was facing the wall for hours. Eventually, my teacher came in to talk to me as the other children played outside during recess.

  

      

     “Crystal, face forward,” my teacher ordered.

     I turned around slowly. My time in the corner had changed me. I was insolent and flippant.

     “Do you know why you’re in the corner?”

     “Because I should’ve lied,” I said sharply.

     “No. You should always tell the truth.”

     “Then why are you punishing me?”

     “Natalie’s going to go home and ask her parents questions that they’re not ready for.”

     “She can come over my house. My grandpa will answer anything,” I said proudly.

    “That isn’t the point.”

    “I’m in trouble for telling the truth?” I asked.

     “No.”

     “Can I go play?”

     “No. I think it’s best you stay in here for the rest of recess.”

     “I told the truth,” I reasoned.

     My teacher gave me one last look and headed back outside to the other children. In that moment I learned the real truth: People don’t want to hear honesty. Especially, out of a kindergartner.

     As an adult, I’m still honest. I’ve learned that some situations warrant silence instead of the truth. Honesty is not something everyone can handle. Ignorance is easier to digest for some people, and that the honest truth.

 

Stay Out of the Shade

     Less than subtle insults have been around since the dawn of man. Even the nicest people are subject to them without fair warning. When faced with such rudeness, you have a decision to make. Should you stand in the sun or throw a little “shade” of your own to the offending party?

     I’m reminded of an incident in college when someone attempted to block out my sunshine. I was with my friend, Miguel and we were heading to our college’s courtyard to meet up with some mutual acquaintances. It was a gorgeous day that begged to be enjoyed. As Miguel and I spoke to our friends, I noticed an unfamiliar face. Sensing this, my friend, Julian decided to make an introduction.

     “Crystal,” Julian said. “This is Nina.”

     “Hi, Nina. I’m…”

     “Demps,” she interrupted. “I’ve heard of you.”

     The stage was set and we were merely players. I couldn’t pick this girl out of a line up and she was pitching me attitude? Game on.

     “I like your sunglasses, “she said.

     “Thank you, “I said thinking the situation was perking up.

     “My sunglasses are knockoffs too, but they’re cute.” She said with a grin.

     Miguel shot me a look. He’s been my friend long enough to know this wasn’t going to end well.

     “Mine aren’t fake. I got them from Neiman’s,” I said.

     “What’s Neiman’s?” she asked puzzled.

     “Exactly,” I said narrowing my gaze.

     “Okay,” Miguel said sensing imminent trouble. “Julian, we’re gonna get going. I’m starving and Demps could use some water to cool off.”

     I confess, I’ve always been good with one liners and quips. It’s genetic. Wit is a requirement on my mother’s side of the family.

     “I thought you were going to scratch her eyes out,” Miguel said as we headed to the car.

     “She started it. Besides I wouldn’t ruin my polish on her.”

     Insults are sometimes unavoidable. No matter how blatant or subtle, they’re still insults. How you react is completely up to you

 

 

Beware of the Leapfrog

On the weekends there is nothing better than having plans. It breaks up the monotony of the work week. What happens when you get an invite only to find it’s for someone else?

One Friday evening, I was hanging out with a bunch of friends and acquaintances. One associate and I started to talk. As we chatted, we made plans to hang out the next day.  I had some appointments in the morning and afternoon but promised to make contact after that.

The next day as promised, I texted to see what was up. As it turned out she was free. Then something curious happened. She asked if a mutual friend was available.  At the time I thought nothing of it. When I mentioned that he was already at an engagement, she said she’d check around to see if anything else was going on. As you might have already guessed, that call/text never came. If she wanted to hang out with the other friend, why not invite them instead?  Why “leap” over someone?

The lesson I learned is that when plans are being formed, make sure they won’t fall through. I also learned to make sure the person actually wants to have plans with you. If you’re just a “place holder”, don’t waste your time. Time is a precious thing; don’t waste it on invites you weren’t meant for.