I Hate These Blurred Lines

     Friendships are a wonderful thing. Friends are the people that you share your best and worst times with. It's only natural that sometimes an attraction develops between one or both parties. The question is, is this ever a good idea?


     I often hear couples say that they married their best friend or that they were friends before they entered a romantic relationship. Reality forces me to take of my rose colored shades and wonder if this is a good idea. I've seen many a bad ending to a relationship between friends. They can't be near each other, every social gathering is made awkward by them, and their mutual friends try desperately not to take sides.


     The next thing to consider is the friendship itself. When it's over, can you go back to being friends? I was recently asked if I could ever be friends with an ex, in particular, an ex that was once one of my best friends. I answered him honestly.


     "No. My relationships don't allow for that," I replied.


     As my mind drifted back, I remembered trying to be his friend after taking a week or so to clear my head. The way I viewed it was that he was my best friend before he was my boyfriend. It would be unfair to leave him in the deep end with no life jacket. However, he made this impossible. Almost every time I saw him he was disrespectful. We even got into a screaming match once. Thankfully, we are civil to each other now. We have many of the same friends. I can be in a room with him, but I'm not bothered with him. He simply isn't in my universe. We aren't friends and we never will be. At least, not on my end. I have a better chance of winning a gold medal in men's gymnastics than trying to strike up a friendship with him again. I am not afraid to say that our breakup was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. That being said, I don't regret it. His weakness made me stronger.


     A romantic relationship with a friend can be wonderful. It can be the best of both worlds. However, going into it, you need to be realistic in acknowledging the benefits and disadvantages of this kind of relationship. I won't say I'd never date a friend, but given my previous experience, I'm gun shy. A friendship isn't worth ruining because of an impulse.