Don't Ask, Don't Tell

     I was raised by my maternal grandparents, Theodore and Marlin. So it goes without saying that there are things that I have an old fashioned attitude about. Money is chief amongst those things.

    My grandparents instilled in me the value of a hard earned dollar. I had chores to earn allowance and when I was old enough obtained a work permit to start my first job after school. They were very clear on the fact that no one owed me anything and that you appreciate things more when you work for them. Don't misunderstand me, they helped me pay for things and were always supportive as parents should be. They also taught me to never discuss money. Nothing was crasser according to them. My grandfather only discussed finances with my grandmother and their financial advisor. To him, these were private matters that you were never to talk about. If assumptions were made, so be it. You were never to solidify them by your own admissions. Many in my generation don't feel the need to keep their money matters silent. They loudly broadcast their money successes and troubles to any party who will listen.

     I am the direct opposite. Whether I have $1 or $1,000,000, you will never know. Since I am not married I keep my finances between my financial advisor and myself (I started investing a couple of years ago). I like nice things, but when I get them I don't brag. I instead try to be grateful. There are so many who don't even have basic necessities, so I am fortunate. For example, as a gift for my 21st birthday, my aunt gave me a fur coat. I was over the moon, but I didn't shout it from the rooftops. I did thank her profusely. To be honest, I've only worn it about three times, but I am still grateful she gave it to me. As a little girl I remember witnessing a family that my grandparents and I knew, going above and beyond the call of duty to bring attention to their designer threads. This confused me since they were doing something in direct opposition to what I was raised to do. When I asked my grandfather about it, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, "People who brag about what they have are not used to anything nice." That left a huge impression on me. When someone brags and tries to rub their money in the faces of others, my grandfather's words echo quietly in my ear and I smile to myself.
    
     To paraphrase The Preppy Handbook, money should be like the family dog. When you reach your hand out, it should be there. By this thinking there is no reason to brag or speak of money loudly. Money does indeed talk, but it should never speak above a whisper.