A House is Not a Home

     A person's words can tell a lot about them. They can tell you where they are from, what they think, and in essence, who they are. In my recent experiences, a person's words have also betrayed who they depicted themselves to be.

     There are certain words that when said tell on the speaker's background. In the book, Noblesse Oblige, edited by Nancy Mitford, words were broken down into "U words" and "Non U words", meaning upper class and non upper class words. While some of the words became extinct, some still apply. For example, house is considered upper class, while home is non upper class. I find that words do not tell only on the speaker's non u background so much as the actions coupled with the words. I was having lunch with an associate a few weeks before Christmas and I asked what her plans were. She informed me that she was going to a relative's "mansion" and having dinner. I almost stopped dead in my tracks. Who speaks that way? My first thought of her mentioning this "mansion" was that it was probably of the "Mc" variety not a real mansion with an established history. This type of language and behavior is all too common.

     As I stated before, times have changed and with it the concept of u words and non u words. It is much more upper class to say you have a driver instead of a chauffeur. When a colleague mentions their recent car trouble, it's fine to tell them your car recently had engine trouble. You don't need to tell them the Mercedes needed a new head gasket. When someone complements your new handbag, you don't need to tell them that Gucci made it. It's a blue car, not a Bentley. Unfortunately, because conspicuous consumption not only runs rampant but is almost acceptable, the concept of class and taste seem to be antiques. One of my favorite quotes is: "Taste is restraint." Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. There is no reason to use boisterous language to draw attention to yourself though you possessions. In essence, the u words are much more subtle and understated than their non u counterpoints. With the words come the behaviors.

     There is nothing wrong with having aspirations, but with them make sure you are authentic. Don't let your words and actions betray who you are.