Mother Knows Best?

      When I was in college, I had a boyfriend who was close to his parents. This was a good thing...at first. It was only a matter of time before his relationship with his mother proved not to be such a good idea. When is the parental presence in a relationship too much?

     The first part of our relationship was blissful. His parents were great people. His mother was warm and welcoming. She and I seemed to have quite a bit in common. The trouble started shortly before our relationship hit its one year mark. Suddenly she took issue with everything that I did. She criticized everything from the way I danced to our overall relationship. We even broke up briefly because of it. We got back together shortly after.

      For a short period of time our relationship seemed to be back on track. Then the accusations started. She began to ask my boyfriend if he was giving me money because everytime she saw me I was dressed well. I was appalled, especially since I'd been loaning him money so that he wouldn't have to ask her. She even asked him what my credit was like. I was angry immediately. He didn't understand why I was upset. She was only getting started. His mother reared her ugly maternal head more times in our relationship.

      When my boyfriend's sister, Rochelle, started dating her boyfriend, Kelsey, her first year of college, it was as though he and I were in constant competition. Kelsey went out of his way to impress my boyfriend's mother. One year he bought a Waterford crystal vase for her for Christmas. She called every one's attention to the gift that her "son in law" brought. I'd bought gifts for both she and her husband and my boyfriend's two sisters year after year. I got a curt "thank you" and that was the end of it.

     A relationship is between two people. When additional people are added, disaster is bound to strike. My relationship with him ended because of other factors, but I don't think it would've been so tumultuous if his mother's nose wasn't constantly present in our affairs. It also would've helped if he wasn't telling his mother everything that happened in our relationship. If the parental presence is constantly a factor, your relationship is not going to go well. Most importantly if a potential significant other shows signs of being a mama's boy or a daddy's girl, I have one piece of advice: Run.



The ultimate mama's boy-Norman Bates