Married With Children

     This past Valentine's Day, a girlfriend and I got dressed up and had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants downtown. We are both single so we decided to hang out together. After dinner, my friend suggested we go to one of the bars further down the street from the restaurant. We went inside only to find that it was a little on the quiet side. Undeterred, we headed to another bar further downtown. This bar was livelier. There was a live band playing and all the women were handed roses once they took their seats. My friend and I laughed and joked. Even with us both being single, we had to admit that this was an amazing Valentine's Day.

     One of all the bartenders, who I will call Kurt, was especially chatty with us.

     "Where's your boyfriend at?" Kurt asked me.

     "Wherever I left him," I laughed

     Throughout the night he kept talking to me. He was attractive and pretty sharp. My friend was talking to another of the bar's regulars that she'd met before. Kurt and I talked about everything from handshake etiquette to weather. Two of my guy friends joined us at the bar and suggested we move to a table. My girlfriend opted to stay seated but I joined them at the table. Even as I moved through the crowded bar, Kurt's eyes followed me. My two friends and I decided to call it a night while my girlfriend stayed behind. We bid her farewell and headed out. About 10 minutes later. I received a text from my girlfriend saying that Kurt couldn't stop talking about me. Feeling daring, I told my girlfriend to give him my number. She did.

     That following Sunday we talked on the phone and made plans for the following weekend. Even through my excitement something still seemed amiss. Call it women's intuition, but something wasn't quite right. The next Wednesday, after not hearing from him, I texted him just to say hello. He told me he was in class and would call me when he got out. He did call... two hours later.

     When we talked on the phone I could feel a pit in my stomach form, but I didn't know why. As we confirmed plans, he kept sounding hesitant.

     "We can hang out on Saturday, but there's something I have to tell you," he said. And then in the same breath, "What kind of movies do you like?"

     "Anything, but horror." I said.
   
     "OK, but I have to tell you something before we hang out this weekend."

     All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks.

     "You're married," I said suddenly infuriated.

     "Um, yeah."

     "Why did you take my number!? What is wrong with you!? Are you kidding me!?"

     After he recovered from my torrent of questions, he responded, "I don't know. I shouldn't have, but there was something about you."

     "There is something about me, but you'll never find out because you're married! I want no part of this. Unbelievable!"

     In case you wondered, I have no tolerance for married men who cheat.

     "I know it seems bad, but I have two children, so I stay."

     "Great! The plot thickens! You're married and you have children!"

     "They're not real young. If I divorce my wife, I'll only get to see them on the weekends. I'd rather go through hell with her than not see them. I know it sounds like a bunch of lines..."

     "Oh it is a bunch of lines. I'm not falling for them. Where's your wedding ring? You weren't wearing one."

     "I don't wear mine."

     "That's real nice. You don't wear your ring and take single women's numbers. Nice," I replied pointedly.

     "I've never done this before."

     "Yeah, right."

     "If you still want to hang out on Saturday, we can. At least, I told you I was married."

     That comment sent me through the roof. The unmitigated gall was too much for me. It's like he thought he was doing me a favor. Not so much.

     "You telling me the truth was for your benefit. If you didn't tell me and I found out, that would've been bad for you. You don't have any idea of the fury you would have brought on yourself."

     "Maybe, I can see you around the bar."

     "Whatever," I said hanging up.

     I take marriage seriously. If you marry someone you are theirs and vice versa. There shouldn't be any "side stepping". The fact that he had children made the situation more deplorable. It is one thing to notice an attractive person, but it is quite another to act on it. If you're going to take vows, you ought to honor them.

     Even though this situation happened, I refuse to let it bitter me. There are great guys out there. You can't assume every person that you encounter is waiting to take advantage of you or be dishonest. At the same token, if something doesn't feel right with a person you are trying to get to know, it probably isn't.