Misery Doesn't Love Company

     Everyone complains about something, but when is it too much? Should you grin and bear it or just not be around it?

      I have an associate who I was once very close to. Various things led to our lives going in opposite directions. I graduated college and began working full time, while she got married and had a son. Late last year, I ran into her at a mutual friend's birthday party. It was nice to see her again... at first. In the blink of an eye, she launched into how she hardly ever spent time with her husband or did anything fun anymore. I tried to show her the silver lining in every cloud she presented, but she kept shooting them full of holes. Throughout the night she complained about her marriage and social life. I tried not to let it pull down my mood. All I could think was, "If you're so unhappy, why would you get married?" Once some of her cocktails hit her system she seemed to perk up. We laughed and carried on with the party. As soon as someone mentioned going on a date or to a party, she started back up with the negativity. The one she used most of the night was, "I wish I could do that." Or, "I can't do that because I am married with a kid." By the time the party ended, I began to wonder why she'd even come out that night.

     I began to reflect back to when she and I were closer. She always complained about any and everything. It wasn't normal crabbing, but a full on frontal assault of complaints that rendered you defenseless. Her complaints were sometimes launched at you at to make you feel guilty about whatever it was that she couldn't do. It suddenly hit me that while she'd matured as a wife and mother of young child, she was still the same. Since everyone at the party was unmarried and childless except her, we chose to ignore it or were involved in other conversations. Sadly, her dialogue was just like "old times" and not in a nostalgic way.

     At the end of the night she tried to cement plans with other mutual friends and I for us to all hang out. I agreed, but it was the type of agreement that is made as one tries to escape. I don't have plans to listen to her complain for another evening. Truthfully, I don't think I could handle it without blowing a gasket. The moral of the story is: If people are celebrating, don't bring them down. If you think that you will, stay home until you can chase your blues away.