I Can't Miss You If You Won't Leave

     Breakups are never easy. They're even harder when one person refuses to accept it. I have noticed, especially among younger people, a trend of bothering their ex until he or she recants and takes them back.

    One of my guy friends experienced this. He and his ex broke up last fall. She called him frequently as well as texted him. He usually ignored them, but when he acknowledged her calls or texts he usually regretted it. She questioned him about his whereabouts as though they're still together. When this didn't work she tried to guilt him into hanging out with her. The sad thing is he has said he would've considered being friends with her if she would drop her crazy obsessive behavior. Sometimes she wouldn't speak to him at parties. Other times she would isolate him in a corner at a party asking him a barrage of questions. This kind of behavior is ridiculous. If a person doesn't want to be with you, all the guilt in the world won't make it happen. From my understanding it only makes the person whose affection you want back instantly repelled.

     After a relationship I tried to move on from my ex. My mistake came in thinking that perhaps we could be friends. At first we were civil and then it became arduous. Whenever we would hang out he would mention us getting back together. When I declined I was met with my own torrent of questions. He made every social interaction far more awkward than it needed to be. He began to randomly show up to parties. He would even corner my friends and ask why I wouldn't get back with him. Finally, I had to end my civility and cut my losses.

     Relationships are interesting things. They can give us unbridled bliss or crippling heartache. Either way, when a relationship ends the best you can hope for is closure. Closure does not entail crying and begging the person to take you back. Desperation has a smell and it isn't Chanel No# 5. No matter what part you play in the break up, the best thing you can do is focus on yourself and move forward.