No Passengers On Board

     I like children. Their laughs are infectious and they aren't jaded by society yet. However, I have decided that I don't want any of my own. Yet as a woman, if you say this, you are judged as though it isn't your choice.

     I have always known that I never wanted children. I like my friend's children, but it is something that I never want to embark on. There were times when I thought about it and even considered it, but upon further thought I knew it was not what I wanted. When I was 12, I remember reading an article about DINKS (Dual Income No Kids), and thinking it was a great idea. The idea of being with my husband taking trips and being active appealed to me even at such a young age. I like the idea of doing what I want and not having to say, "I have to find a sitter." Many of my friends have children. I play with their kids, spoil them, and enjoy my time with them. I don't push my viewpoint in the face of others. Whenever I am asked why I don't have children and I explain why, I am met with resistance and ire, as though it isn't my reproductive choice.

     I find that when a woman says she doesn't want kids she is told that she will change her mind, or being told that the right man just has to come along. As though, Prince Charming coming along is a totally good reason to get pregnant even though I care not to be. My favorite is when I am told that because I am a woman I should want kids. I cannot tell you how infuriating that is. If a woman doesn't want kids, you aren't going to convince her by equating her to the sum of her parts. Having children is a choice. If you choose to, then by all means go forth and reproduce. If you decide that you do not want children you should not be brow beaten into it. Being a woman entails so much more than having a working uterus. Not wanting children also doesn't mean that you're bad with children because you don't want them. I am good with kids. I just don't have patience for the things that being a mother includes, especially childbirth. At 28, I know what I want. I shouldn't have to defend my choice. I have been blessed enough to have several women in my life who do not have children and have full lives.

     Being a mother can be a wonderful thing, I'm told. It has to be something you want. If you decide that children are not for you, stick with your choice and remember that it is just that: a choice.