There is nothing wrong with seizing chances. That is what life's about. Where does one draw the line between that and being calculating?
When I was in college, my sorority had a mixer with a fraternity at a nearby college that is predominately male. We had an amazing dinner followed by a tour of their house. One sister took it upon herself to be overzealous and walk through each brother's room. When one of them mentioned their upcoming formal, her eyes lit up.
"You guys are having a formal? When is it?!"
I could see the gears turning in her head. By the time the mixer had ended, she'd latched onto one of the eligible brothers. As planned, she became his date to their formal. They dated briefly. Very briefly, if memory serves me correctly. No sooner had that tete a tete ended; she began dating another one of his fraternity brothers. This may seem harmless, but it wasn't. You see, this college is known for linking its graduates with great jobs and connections. Part of curriculum even includes them working a co-op job. If you think she didn't consider any of this, you'd be wrong. They became engaged and married. She just had their first child.
To a degree, we are all opportunists. Some of us are more than others. For the most part, the only time one should calculate is in math.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Growing Pains
Friendships increase and decrease all during childhood. Once people reach adulthood your friendships are for life, right?
In the past year a lot has changed about me. Everything from my thoughts to ambitions have transformed. That being said, I have a friend who lately has been less a pleasure knowing. It seems character flaws that once seemed tiny have become glaring. She has a false sense of snobbery that is layered on top of cheap she can be. Also, her general behavior at times can be boorish. I still have fun overall, but there are always one or two moments when I am beyond irritated. What does one do?
In cases of betrayal, it would be a simple answer. You would cut your ties and never look back. In a case such as this, I suppose slowly fading is the best option. It limits volatility while keeping them at arm's length. That doesn't mean that you won't see them at social functions. Of course, you will. Be civil and keep moving.
As people get older their inner circle changes sometimes because of circumstances beyond your control and otherwise. Whatever the case may be, you should be certain that this is the step you want to take. Once bonds are cut, you can't always glue them back.
In the past year a lot has changed about me. Everything from my thoughts to ambitions have transformed. That being said, I have a friend who lately has been less a pleasure knowing. It seems character flaws that once seemed tiny have become glaring. She has a false sense of snobbery that is layered on top of cheap she can be. Also, her general behavior at times can be boorish. I still have fun overall, but there are always one or two moments when I am beyond irritated. What does one do?
In cases of betrayal, it would be a simple answer. You would cut your ties and never look back. In a case such as this, I suppose slowly fading is the best option. It limits volatility while keeping them at arm's length. That doesn't mean that you won't see them at social functions. Of course, you will. Be civil and keep moving.
As people get older their inner circle changes sometimes because of circumstances beyond your control and otherwise. Whatever the case may be, you should be certain that this is the step you want to take. Once bonds are cut, you can't always glue them back.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Child's Play
Generation after generation, children seem to be getting worse. It isn't entirely their fault. They can only do what they are allowed to do. Either way, it can still be aggravating for the rest of us.
A few weeks ago, I headed to my favorite restaurant after work to grab a meal and unwind. No sooner had I placed my order, did a baby behind me let out a wail that rivaled Pavarotti in his prime. The mother looked at her infant for a split second and continued talking to her friend. This floored me. Why would she not make an attempt to comfort her child? For the duration of my dinner, I was forced to listen to the "aria" that this child continued to belt out. The mother continued to ignore the child's protests.
Even at work I am not safe. One of my co workers often brings his children to work. They can be heard running up and down the halls. Sometimes they push each other in office chairs back and forth through the hallway in front of his office. One instance I can think of is when he brought his daughter to work. She was rollerblading in the break room. She kept getting in my way as I tried to get my morning cup of green tea. He just stood there as though he were watching a movie.
The older that I get the more I realize that a child's lapse in manners is due to the negligence of the parents. My maternal grandparents raised me. Manners and proper behavior were very important to them. They were loving but stern. I look at children these days and shake my head. There is no way that I would have been allowed to behave the way most children do and I am grateful for that.
Children need guidance. Parents are supposed to provide them with the blueprint for proper conduct. If there is no direction, you can't expect them to be well mannered and respectful. Sadly, if values never become instilled in them, they will only become worse as they mature. As a parent, you must realize that if you point fingers at your child, there are more pointing back at you.
A few weeks ago, I headed to my favorite restaurant after work to grab a meal and unwind. No sooner had I placed my order, did a baby behind me let out a wail that rivaled Pavarotti in his prime. The mother looked at her infant for a split second and continued talking to her friend. This floored me. Why would she not make an attempt to comfort her child? For the duration of my dinner, I was forced to listen to the "aria" that this child continued to belt out. The mother continued to ignore the child's protests.
Even at work I am not safe. One of my co workers often brings his children to work. They can be heard running up and down the halls. Sometimes they push each other in office chairs back and forth through the hallway in front of his office. One instance I can think of is when he brought his daughter to work. She was rollerblading in the break room. She kept getting in my way as I tried to get my morning cup of green tea. He just stood there as though he were watching a movie.
The older that I get the more I realize that a child's lapse in manners is due to the negligence of the parents. My maternal grandparents raised me. Manners and proper behavior were very important to them. They were loving but stern. I look at children these days and shake my head. There is no way that I would have been allowed to behave the way most children do and I am grateful for that.
Children need guidance. Parents are supposed to provide them with the blueprint for proper conduct. If there is no direction, you can't expect them to be well mannered and respectful. Sadly, if values never become instilled in them, they will only become worse as they mature. As a parent, you must realize that if you point fingers at your child, there are more pointing back at you.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Getting Too Old For This
When you're younger everything is a new experience. This also leaves room to make mistakes, which is fine. At what point do you stop doing the same nonsense of your youth and grow up?
A few months ago, a nearby party was going on. It was composed of newer members of my sorority, most of them I didn't know. I had my reservations about going because the crowd was not only young but not my usual scene. My friends talked me into going. I shouldered my purse and headed out. Upon walking inside I instantly felt like I didn't belong. I was the oldest person at the party but that isn't what bothered me. The young women there were going out of their way to act desperate at the first sign of male attention and alcohol hitting their blood stream. At that point, I was ready to leave. I remembered being that age, but I didn't remember having such low self esteem. No sooner had I considered this, a table with decorative vases with glass stones was knocked over and scattered on the floor. I took that as my cue to leave.
As I've gotten older I have had to make decisions on my life based on my own growth. This has led to ending of relationships and further analysis of my friendships. Some things are worth your time and some aren't. Part of becoming mature is having the cognitive reasoning to make these determinations. This doesn't mean that you have to become stodgy and boring, but it does mean that you know what a good investment of your time is. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, when I was a child I acted like one. I'm a adult now and now it's time to put away the things of my youth.
A few months ago, a nearby party was going on. It was composed of newer members of my sorority, most of them I didn't know. I had my reservations about going because the crowd was not only young but not my usual scene. My friends talked me into going. I shouldered my purse and headed out. Upon walking inside I instantly felt like I didn't belong. I was the oldest person at the party but that isn't what bothered me. The young women there were going out of their way to act desperate at the first sign of male attention and alcohol hitting their blood stream. At that point, I was ready to leave. I remembered being that age, but I didn't remember having such low self esteem. No sooner had I considered this, a table with decorative vases with glass stones was knocked over and scattered on the floor. I took that as my cue to leave.
As I've gotten older I have had to make decisions on my life based on my own growth. This has led to ending of relationships and further analysis of my friendships. Some things are worth your time and some aren't. Part of becoming mature is having the cognitive reasoning to make these determinations. This doesn't mean that you have to become stodgy and boring, but it does mean that you know what a good investment of your time is. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul, when I was a child I acted like one. I'm a adult now and now it's time to put away the things of my youth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)