My faith is a part of who I am. I am Orthodox Christian. This doesn't mean that I am perfect. Why is it that this misconception keeps occurring?
One night my mother and I were talking on the phone, when the conversation veered to one of her former friends who has made some bad life choices. When I expressed to my mother that I didn't feel sorry for her because she is old enough to know better, my mother blasted me.
"You go to church and chant and look at you. You aren't even compassionate."
I was irritated that she used my faith against me. Had she not interrupted, I would've explained that enabling behavior is why she has continued her destructive pattern in life. I would've also mentioned that I didn't feel sorry for this woman because of what her choices have put her family through. Even as a mother and grandmother, this woman selfishly follows this dysfunctional way of life. Compassion doesn't equal excuse making. Being Christian doesn't mean that you enable or be taken advantage of. No matter what you do or don't believe, you are accountable for your actions. That is part of being human.
"Don't toss the cross, Mom", I countered. "She has been on a destructive path for while. It isn't that I lack compassion, but if people keep making excuses, she'll never improve."
My mother's reaction really got my back up. She hasn't been to church since the Carter Administration, but she still tried to make me look hypocritical. I'm not a holy roller by any stretch. I sin. I go to church not because of good I am, but by virtue of how terrible I can be. I need redemption like horses need hay. However, Christianity should not be used as a vehicle for intolerance. Not every Christian is a member of Westboro Baptist Church. To be frank, I think that that whole group are a bunch of intolerant, ignorant jerks. I don't push my beliefs on anyone. This is the faith that works for me. Even if I were to believe in nothing, I would still hold people accountable for their actions. Especially in cases where it hurt other people such as members of their family.
Lastly, I am human. I will mess up just as sure as I am breathing. Flaws don't cease to exist because of what you do or don't believe. As I stated previously, Christianity doesn't make you perfect. It also doesn't give you license to be judge, jury, and executioner. Your personal belief system is just that: personal.
