Step parents can be amazing or fuel on the family fire. After time, they fill an important role in a person's life.
When I was 24, my father married a woman named Georgette. The moment I met her we hit it off. She was strong, funny and driven. A woman after my own heart. She was always ready to listen and give advice, but she was far from a yes man. She told you the truth.
Unfortunately, she and my father's marriage started to erode. I remained close to her. She tried to make it work with my father, but the marriage couldn't be saved. She had always been supportive of me. Though it was sad that they were no longer together, I saw no need to end the relationship we'd built.
To this day, she and I are still close. She and her parents came to my graduation party, when I'd graduated from college. She is happily re-married and just as wonderful as before. I am truly fortunate to have met her.
People leave and enter your life for many reasons. If you are fortunate to have a person who willingly steps into the parent role, get to know them. It can be amazing what they teach you.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Chased and Restrained
When you have an attraction to someone, it is nice to have that person notice you back. You use subtlety to gain more attention, but how long is too long to wait for a final result? When is the "back and forth" too much?
As you my remember, in February, I mentioned I had a crush. He and I saw each other few and far between. In June, we had the opportunity to get lunch and talk. We chatted about our respective lives, jobs and everything we could think of. He mentioned that he was free the following Saturday and asked how I spent my free Saturdays. I told him I tried to relax since I so rarely have them. He mentioned that he hadn't been to my town's newly renovated Farmer's Market. I hadn't either at the time, so I was excited at the prospect of where this was going. He said that we should meet up and he'd give me a call if he went down there. I was optimistic, but I didn't get my hopes up. I've crushed on this guy for 2 years without anything solid to speak of. No matter who I dated, he somehow snuck into my thoughts. Even with my feelings, I refused to be unrealistic. There was no way that he didn't know I was attracted to him. The ball was now in his court. It was up to him to act.
When that next Saturday rolled around, I had to attend a wedding. It didn't matter because he never called me, so I was right not to build my expectations. At that moment, I had an epiphany. I had tried to get his attention. Where was his effort? He'd had a golden opportunity to get my undivided attention and he didn't use it. Before I'd have chalked it up to him being more introverted than me, but even a really shy guy will put forth more effort if they like you. I deduced that he must not feel as strongly about me as I thought. When a guy wants you, he lets you know.
As you pursue someone, the question becomes: Is this person as interested as I am? If not, there is no need to continue further. I've spent long enough on this gentleman. While I didn't put my life on hold, I gave him too much mental space for too long. That ends now.
As you my remember, in February, I mentioned I had a crush. He and I saw each other few and far between. In June, we had the opportunity to get lunch and talk. We chatted about our respective lives, jobs and everything we could think of. He mentioned that he was free the following Saturday and asked how I spent my free Saturdays. I told him I tried to relax since I so rarely have them. He mentioned that he hadn't been to my town's newly renovated Farmer's Market. I hadn't either at the time, so I was excited at the prospect of where this was going. He said that we should meet up and he'd give me a call if he went down there. I was optimistic, but I didn't get my hopes up. I've crushed on this guy for 2 years without anything solid to speak of. No matter who I dated, he somehow snuck into my thoughts. Even with my feelings, I refused to be unrealistic. There was no way that he didn't know I was attracted to him. The ball was now in his court. It was up to him to act.
When that next Saturday rolled around, I had to attend a wedding. It didn't matter because he never called me, so I was right not to build my expectations. At that moment, I had an epiphany. I had tried to get his attention. Where was his effort? He'd had a golden opportunity to get my undivided attention and he didn't use it. Before I'd have chalked it up to him being more introverted than me, but even a really shy guy will put forth more effort if they like you. I deduced that he must not feel as strongly about me as I thought. When a guy wants you, he lets you know.
As you pursue someone, the question becomes: Is this person as interested as I am? If not, there is no need to continue further. I've spent long enough on this gentleman. While I didn't put my life on hold, I gave him too much mental space for too long. That ends now.
Saturday, July 19, 2014
I'mma Let you Finish...
There's nothing better than having a lively conversation with new acquaintances. Sharing ideas and forming new ones with others is exciting. It is frustrating however, when one person continues to cut off others who are speaking with no apology in sight.
A couple of months ago, I went to a networking meeting at my city's Chamber of Commerce. After it ended, myself and three others who attended the meeting decided to grab dinner across the street at a restaurant. As the conversation went to local politics, the one member of our party refused to not be heard. He cut each of us off as we were in mid sentence and if we dared to disagree with him, he bludgeoned us with his views. At one point, he'd asked me a question. As I answered the question he interrupted me.
"If you'd let me finish, I'll explain my point," I replied trying to remain calm.
"Let the lady finish," said the other gentleman at the table.
As I proceeded he sat in his seat agitated. He was just bursting at the seams to speak. His enthusiasm was admirable, be he interrupted countless times without being the least bit remorseful. In addition, most of his points were inaccurate. So much so, that myself and the other two people at the table tried desperately to suppress our smirks.
When the other lady began to speak, he interrupted her also.
"No, you've got that wrong!" he scolded.
"Could you let me finish?" the lady asked pointedly.
"You aren't the only one with a thought in your head," the other gentleman admonished.
By the time it was time to leave, the three of us were mentally drained. The other lady and gentleman got ready to leave and I said my goodbyes as I headed to the restroom. When I came out, the abrasive fellow was still at the table.
"See you later," I said walking past the table and heading for the door.
"Are you on Linked In?" he asked.
"Yes," I said hesitantly.
Did I really want to be "linked" to someone so obnoxious? Not so much. It was bad enough that I would see him at the next meeting.
"Okay. I have your card. I'll look you up," he said with a glimmer of hope.
"Right then. Goodnight," I said over my shoulder and headed out.
There's nothing wrong with having your voice heard. Your voice is part of you. You don't have to be overbearing with you view point. When you are tempted to replicate this kind of behavior just remember: Copernicus called and you aren't the center of the universe.
A couple of months ago, I went to a networking meeting at my city's Chamber of Commerce. After it ended, myself and three others who attended the meeting decided to grab dinner across the street at a restaurant. As the conversation went to local politics, the one member of our party refused to not be heard. He cut each of us off as we were in mid sentence and if we dared to disagree with him, he bludgeoned us with his views. At one point, he'd asked me a question. As I answered the question he interrupted me.
"If you'd let me finish, I'll explain my point," I replied trying to remain calm.
"Let the lady finish," said the other gentleman at the table.
As I proceeded he sat in his seat agitated. He was just bursting at the seams to speak. His enthusiasm was admirable, be he interrupted countless times without being the least bit remorseful. In addition, most of his points were inaccurate. So much so, that myself and the other two people at the table tried desperately to suppress our smirks.
When the other lady began to speak, he interrupted her also.
"No, you've got that wrong!" he scolded.
"Could you let me finish?" the lady asked pointedly.
"You aren't the only one with a thought in your head," the other gentleman admonished.
By the time it was time to leave, the three of us were mentally drained. The other lady and gentleman got ready to leave and I said my goodbyes as I headed to the restroom. When I came out, the abrasive fellow was still at the table.
"See you later," I said walking past the table and heading for the door.
"Are you on Linked In?" he asked.
"Yes," I said hesitantly.
Did I really want to be "linked" to someone so obnoxious? Not so much. It was bad enough that I would see him at the next meeting.
"Okay. I have your card. I'll look you up," he said with a glimmer of hope.
"Right then. Goodnight," I said over my shoulder and headed out.
There's nothing wrong with having your voice heard. Your voice is part of you. You don't have to be overbearing with you view point. When you are tempted to replicate this kind of behavior just remember: Copernicus called and you aren't the center of the universe.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Textually Active
Everyone texts. It is an unavoidable form of communication. Why is it that people don't use manners when using it?
One thing that everyone loves about texting is how fast and simple it is. Sometimes this is also its problem. I remember when I was working in retail during inventory, a coworker was broken up with by text message. How rude and cowardly, I remember thinking. You didn't text to start the relationship, so why text to end it? Texting has become a force field for people not brave enough to say bold statements to your face. There are no vocal inflections or facial expressions unless emoticons count. This makes misunderstandings all too common over text.
Another problem with texting, is that people abandon common sense and social graces. My friend, Liza told me she was at a wake recently and saw someone texting. Really? How disrespectful to someone's memory can you be? If there was a time to take the night off from texting, that would be it. In addition, how many people have caused accidents or killed people by texting and driving? Don't misunderstand me, I text, but I still prefer human interaction.
Texting isn't wrong, but how you use it can be. Some things are better face to face. Don't hide behind your words. Stand behind them instead.
One thing that everyone loves about texting is how fast and simple it is. Sometimes this is also its problem. I remember when I was working in retail during inventory, a coworker was broken up with by text message. How rude and cowardly, I remember thinking. You didn't text to start the relationship, so why text to end it? Texting has become a force field for people not brave enough to say bold statements to your face. There are no vocal inflections or facial expressions unless emoticons count. This makes misunderstandings all too common over text.
Another problem with texting, is that people abandon common sense and social graces. My friend, Liza told me she was at a wake recently and saw someone texting. Really? How disrespectful to someone's memory can you be? If there was a time to take the night off from texting, that would be it. In addition, how many people have caused accidents or killed people by texting and driving? Don't misunderstand me, I text, but I still prefer human interaction.
Texting isn't wrong, but how you use it can be. Some things are better face to face. Don't hide behind your words. Stand behind them instead.
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