Wife's a b!@tch?

 As years have gone by, I have had the pleasure of watching my friends get married and even being members of various wedding parties. Even the engagements of my friends have truly been cause for celebration. On a social scale, is there really a division between the married friends and the single friends?

I have heard the argument time and time again that when some women get married, everything changes along with their friendships. I didn't believe this notion until a few years ago. I was at a gathering of friends when I was chatting with one of my friends that had been married two years earlier. 

"So what's been up?" she started.

"Nothing much," I replied.

"You've been single for a while. Do you ever want to get married?"

Wow. Was she serious? Interestingly enough, I'd had a boyfriend the previous year.

"First off, I had a boyfriend last year," I said pointedly. "Are you going to become one of those married women? I really hope not."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, the ones that become jerks with a ring?"

I figured one good turn deserves another.

"No, I just thought you'd want to get married."

"I do," I said sharply. "To the right person. I'm not getting married just because my wi-fi is slow. If you'll excuse me.."

I threw my plate in the trash and drove home. I couldn't manage judging another adult based on marital status. Seems ridiculous, right?

Over coffee I was talking with another married friend. She was mentioning some minor annoyances with her husband. It didn't seem like any of these things were big deals.

"Maybe you should sit down and talk to him about it?" I asked.

"It doesn't make since to even bring it up to him. My married friends get what I'm talking about."

"Is that so?" I asked. Only it was it more of a challenge than a question.

The rest of the conversation changed for me. Was there an invisible partition diving single ladies from married women or did I just need better friends?

A few years later, this same friend tried to launch into another litany of marital complaints. I wasn't having any of it. 

"Well, I'm single. You may want to consult your married friends."

She stopped abruptly and changed the subject. This pretty much confirmed that she knew why I had said what I said and that she knew she was out of line previously.

Don't misunderstand me, my married friends both male and female are amazing. They have found wonderful spouses to share their lives with. When it is meant to happen, I will happily take a trip down the aisle, but until then I'm content. Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution just yet.

Aunt Misbehavin'

 Aunts are special people. Not just the backbone of some families, but also three dimensional people that enrich the lives of nieces and nephews. I have just become part of this esteemed group and I couldn't be prouder.

Last year, during lockdown, my nephew was born and I became an aunt for the first time. He is the epitome of a "bundle of joy". I wasn't able to see him for a few months due to the pandemic, but once I did, I fell in love. I began to think about what being an aunt means and what kind of I aunt I want to be. It struck me that aunts come in all several varieties. I myself can't wait to be the jet set aunt who tells stories about her travels while impressing upon him the importance of afternoon ice cream sandwiches and attending The University of Michigan, if he stays in the state. (No pressure, of course.) Most importantly, I want to be a source of love as he grows and navigates the world around him.

One of the best things about being an aunt is not being bound by the same conventions and standards that parents are bound to. While I have no interest in being a mother, I look forward to being an aunt. Aunts are allowed to have a small glimmer of mischief, whether it's letting their niece or nephew stay up 20 minutes later or an extra piece of chocolate. Either way, I'm excited to share my world and learn his.

As I enter my new role, I have several great examples of what being an aunt is from my own immediate family. I can't wait to watch my nephew's future unfold.