Ex Doesn't Mark the Spot

     They say every relationship is a lesson. If this is true, I have some knowledge under my belt. Not just from my personal experiences, but also from those of my friends.
   
      In high school, I wasn't much of a dater. My focus was more on academics. I had one boyfriend and we started dating our senior year of high school. We eventually broke up our freshmen year of college. In undergrad, I blossomed socially. I met people, joined a sorority, wrote for my college's paper, and even became active with other student organizations. These networks gave me unexpected popularity at school. Even still, I dated one person most of my college career. As with any relationships, it started well, but before we hit the 1 year mark, cracks began to appear. The biggest crack being that his mother felt that I was not good enough for her only son. Worst of all, he didn't defend me. He instead complained about feeling torn between the both of us. I was in the deep end with no life jacket. After a few years of trying to "make it work", we finally broke up.

     My next boyfriend was one of my best friends in college. We were close and both attracted to each other. He and I almost got engaged. In theory, it should have worked. He was in graduate school and dealing with other personal issues. His family life was far from stable and balanced. With all of these factors leaving our relationship tempest tossed, it was doomed before it started.

     My last two boyfriends since graduating college have taught me unintentional lessons to supplement those I've already learned. The first one was that if your significant other is not supportive of you and can't look past themselves, you shouldn't be with them. A relationship involves two people. Not one person trying really hard. Also, a relationship is built on loyalty and trust. If that person is omitting things and keeping up a facade, the relationship is dead in the water. All this aside, the important thing to remember is that there is someone out there for everyone. There is no reason to become jaded. Honestly, the blessing is usually in the breakup itself.

     The most important lesson comes from the prefix "ex" itself. The word is from Latin and means "out" (i.e. excavation, extinct, and so on). Once that boyfriend or girlfriend is out, leave them there. If it was meant to be they would still be "in".