The Kids Don't Stand a Chance

     There was a time when being a mother meant something. It meant shaping, loving, protecting, and nurturing your child. Unfortunately, there a new class of mothers who have lost or forgotten what the goal of motherhood is.

     As I've stated in previous blogs, I was raised by my maternal grandparents. My grandmother was both disciplined and loving. She could definitely be stern, but I never felt as though she didn't love me. She was at all of my graduations, from sixth grade to college. No matter what, she has always let me know that I had her support. My mental, physical, and emotional well being was always her concern. My grandmother helped to instill in me the core values that I carry with me today. Though not perfect, she was what a mother should be. However, with reality television moms running rampant, it makes you wonder if modern women know that they are missing the mark.

     I had a sorority sister who'd gotten married and divorced while we were in college, but was with child before her divorce was finalized. While pregnant, she had a fantastical view of what motherhood would be like. Once her son was born reality sank in. Instead of working to be a better mother and reaching out for help, she suddenly decided to revive her "social life". She was out partying late and getting any and every one including our sisters to watch her child. Even going so far as dropping her son off to the dorms at night so she could hit the bars. The school administration got wind of it and told all of the resident advisors that this was not to continue or they would call Child Protective Services. The strange thing is that she was never a party girl or heavy drinker before she had gotten pregnant or divorced. Anytime her behavior was brought to her attention she made excuses. She and I even had an argument about the way she had treated her son. According to her she just needed a "break". Problem was, she was always taking a "break". I could tell you many other stories of her mothering that would make your hair stand on end, but I'll abstain.

        It seems to me that mothers have become more selfish instead of selfless. The needs of the child are met only if the mothers feel like it. To paraphrase Jackie Kennedy Onassis, it doesn't matter what else you do with your life. If you choose to be a mother and you fail at that, you've basically failed in general. If you decide that you want to be a mother, you need to understand the ramifications that come with the role. Children are not teacup Chihuahuas that can be paraded around and then given away when you are tired of them. Being a mother is a serious responsibility and joy if you do it right.